What are your self-beliefs?
What do you believe about yourself, and is it true? We’re midway through a blog series about our values and beliefs. Last week, I wrote about re-examining our values in seasons of transition. So too do we need to take a hard look at our belief system.
Our core values give us direction and purpose. If what we believe about ourselves isn’t in line with those values, we have a hard time moving forward and embracing change.
Where is the conflict between your values and your self-beliefs?
Let’s say that one of your core values is “confidence.” You’ll experience conflict if you don’t believe that you’re a confident person. Maybe you value competency, but you don’t believe that you’re good at your job. Maybe you value intimacy, but you don’t believe that you’re able to connect with others.
What we believe (especially about ourselves) isn’t always true. I’m just not a “social” person. I’m not smart enough. I’ll never be… [fill in the blank here].
Our beliefs are often informed by our experiences, and the people that are closest to us (most notably, our parents). These long-held beliefs are often what hold us back and prevent us from growing and changing.
Ask yourself, “Which of my beliefs still hold true, and which are false?”
What we need to do, then, is rewrite our beliefs to accurately reflect our values and our desire to change.
How do we rewrite our beliefs?
We need to replace the destructive self-beliefs that hinder our ability to change. Easier said than done, right?
First, take the opposite of what you believe. Is this what you wish were true? Think also about what you need – from yourself, and others – to validate these beliefs. Make a list.
For example… “Being respected,” or “Being loved.” Being… confident. Competent. Connected.
Now, replace “being” with “I am.” I am respected. I am loved. I am confident.
The more that you repeat and internalize these affirmations, the more they become a part of your identity. We allow our thoughts to seek evidence supporting these new beliefs, and we begin to see ourselves in a new light. If “I am confident,” how will I think and behave differently?
Changing our beliefs is about (1) prioritizing our values, and (2) determining what we need to support those values.
Our self-beliefs can either help us or hinder us on our journey to change. When your beliefs about yourself are in line with your core values, you will take the necessary steps to make changes in your life. When our beliefs are out of alignment with our values, we face conflict.
We need to examine our beliefs and rewrite those that are no longer true (or were never true to begin with!).
Are you struggling to let go of your negative self-beliefs? As a Certified Life Coach, I can help you identify your values and take the necessary steps to align your beliefs and choices with those values. Learn more about CHOICE coaching and schedule your complimentary session today.